Crime
Cat
Six stars. One bandana. Zero traces. The most wanted cat on the internet, and it only takes Monero.
SIX STARSPAID IN MONERONO KYCCRIME CATSIX STARSPAID IN MONERONO KYCCRIME CAT
Official bulletin
Wanted for crimes paid in Monero
Police found the crime scenes. They found the paw prints. They followed the money and found nothing at all.
★ Every job settled in XMR. No trail, no receipts.
★ Last seen at sunset near the palm trees.
★ Do not approach. Will knock your drink off the table.
Rap sheet
Known crimes
Grand Theft Tuna.
Six cans gone from a locked pantry. No fingerprints. Just paw prints and one smug look on the security cam.
Knocking things off tables.
Glasses, phones, a vase from 1840. Every one of them pushed slowly, while making eye contact.
Laundering catnip.
Moves the green through a network of cardboard boxes. Every payment settles in Monero. The ledger shows nothing.
Evading arrest. Daily.
Ran from animal control, the vet and the bath. Hides under the bed until the heat dies down.
Crimenomics
Wanted Level
★★★★★★
Max stars. Still napping.
Payment
XMR
Monero only. Cash leaves a trail.
Traces
0
Ring signatures and soft paws.
Getaway
Zoomies
3am. Full speed. Down the hallway.
Crew
1 Cat
Works alone. Trusts nobody.
Disguise
Bandana
Nobody has ever seen its mouth.
UNSTOPPABLEUNBOTHEREDBANDANA ONCOPS CONFUSEDUNSTOPPABLEUNBOTHEREDBANDANA ONCOPS CONFUSEDInterrogation
Why is Crime Cat wanted?+
Pick a crime. Tuna, tables, catnip. The list is long and the cat is not sorry.
Why Monero?+
Because Crime Cat does not leave receipts. Private by default, just like a cat's schedule.
Can the cops catch it?+
They have tried. It was under the couch the whole time.
Is Crime Cat a good investment?+
It's a cat in a bandana with six stars. Make your own decisions.
When moon?+
After the heist. Cats only move when they feel like it.
Join the crew.
Put on the bandana. Pay in Monero. Leave no trace.
Meme coin. Not financial advice. No real cats committed crimes. Probably.